hurting, missing and loving

I know I write about my relationship with Chris a lot, but we've had a rough couple of days recently and I feel that I need to write about it (again), I just kind of need to get some stuff out of my brain...
Well, I want to write about what makes a long distance relationship different, and at times difficult, so here goes:

I think the love in a relationship like ours very much comes from the pain, that might sound bad, but hear me out here. The thing is, that the worst feeling I know is saying goodbye to Chris, it's standing in an airport saying "I'll see you in three months...". It is difficult, sometimes maybe even painful to be in a relationship like ours, but I think the love lies in that we choose to be together anyway, we choose to go through the painful goodbyes and months apart because we love each other that much, the love just overpowers the pain (if that in any possible makes sense).

I think Chris put it perfectly when he said "I miss you so much it hurts sometimes" because that is truly how I feel, I go around every day missing him and it hurts, it hurts knowing that the thing I want the most, the person I love the most, is so far away. So I try to convince myself that "distance really doesn't matter when you really love someone" but honestly I think that's bullshit (excuse my language) Because distance does matter, no matter how much you love someone it still matters that there's six-hundred miles and an ocean between you. But I think that we as a couple can overcome that shows that we're willing to put hard work into it (because let me tell you it's really bloody hard sometimes).

But when you've been in a relationship for over eight months and only have spend three weeks actually being together, that means there's a lot of missing each other. But I read quote that sums my feelings on the subject up perfectly: "Missing someone gets easier every day, because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will." And that is the reason I usually spend out time apart counting down the days till I'll see Chris again, and not counting the days since I saw him last.
But even though it gets easier everyday, there's still two months till I'll see him again (and 14 till we'll live together). And I know it might sound weird when I say I miss the person I talk the most to every day, but that is, I think because I don't miss Chris, I miss being with him. I miss how we are together. I miss being able to do things like holding hands while going for walks and cuddling while watching movies, I don't miss him as much as I miss "us".

(Watch out here comes the really cheesy part)
I think the pain of saying goodbye, being apart, and missing each other that is a pain we're willing to go through, because we love each other that much.

Driving? Oh my, where's the pedal?

This week I'll make sure to write on the blog in time but the thing is I've no idea what to write about. Therefore I'll just talk a bit about what I'm doing at the moment.  Since I turned 18 I've been taking driving lessons at a driving school close to the train station. I've only been to theory-classes three times (are they called that in English?) and I've only been on the driving training facility once. The motor only stop working nine times, I think that's pretty good thinking of that I've never been driving any kind of vehicle. The closest I've been to driving anything with its own motor is a crosser, and at that time I just sat behind the driver and squealed because we always drive on a bumpy road. Anydoctor I already have my first drive on the roads next week and I'm definitely not ready for it. I mean, I can't even remember which pedal is the accelerator pedal! But still, I have like 3 months to learn it before the 'exam'. Also yesterday I went to get 8 hours of first aid. Yes I do mean 8 hours straight. I went  with two of my classmates and there was a police officer who taught us everything we need to know. He was actually not so boring to listen to as I first thought so the hours disappeared really quickly. Also the dolls we had to 'bring back life' were named Voldemort, so I've saved Voldemort's life several times yesterday. But I feel more secure now to be honest know what to do in certain situations and I could really have used that when my former English teacher, who was an epileptic, had an attack. That's something I'll never forget since I only stood less than two meters from him and the fact that I was the one who ran for help. Anydalek I think that's it, I just shared my thoughts of getting my driving license so everyone beware of me in traffic!    

The ups and downs of nerdyness

There's ups and downs to everything, and there is to "being a nerd" as well, and I'll warn you this might turn into a blog where I end up complaining (I'll try to keep it under control, but I can promise anything...)

The thing is that the new season of Doctor Who is on at the moment, but I've just been so disappointed, I'll say generally since Moffat took over I've liked the show less (yes, I'm aware that MANY whovians will disagree over this, but we're all allowed to have our opinions...).

Honestly I feel like Moffat is too obsessed about the bigger plot, but he doesn't do it in a charming "Bad Wolf" kind of way, it's in a way more obvious kind of annoying kind of way, which I know some people love, but it just feels like it's not the Doctor Who I "fell in love with". Don't get me wrong, I looove Moffat's writing, Sherlock is amazing and my favourite episodes of DW is "The Empty Child" and "Blink" but I feel like he's got too much power now and it's not good anymore. I watch most of the shows I follow "religiously" with Chris, and lately whenever we finish an episode of Doctor Who we'll just sit there in silence till one of goes "Well... That was disappointing..."

So it's good we have Game Of Thrones to look forward to, because that just keeps on being amazing, I'm completely in love with it, and at some point I'll get myself together and actually read the rest of the books (I've only read the first one, and yes I am aware that I'm terrible but I'm just busy reading Mortal Engines and they're just awesome aswell... So much to read, so little time...)

And then there's Adventure Time which is just getting weirder and weirder, the new season has just made me fall completely in love with Lemongrab... But I do sometimes wonder what drugs the creators of Adventure Time are on...

Anywho, I'm off to be a complaining nerd elsewhere....

'Grown-up' and a bit smarter

I'm so sorry for being late, but I've been celebrating my birthday and making assignments the last couple of days so, I apologize. Now I'm finally 18 like Sidsel, and officially 'grown-up'. Yeah okay, I'm not really grown-up yet but I've learned one thing over the last couple of months: Remember to forgive yourself. This topic might seem similar to one of the things I've written about before but at this moment this is all I can think of and want to write about. To be honest I've been failing some of tests in school and some of my grades have been failing as well. I've been stressed, school, work, family-problems, friends, assignments and so on was simply too much. But now I've been 'fired' from work and started taking driving lessons I feel more free. Also I've forgiven myself for failing those classes because I was trying too hard. Instead I've turned these failures into motivation for me. If I can't keep focus or don't want to do my homework I just remember what happened and I'll make them right away. For example I've made my English assignment two-three weeks before I should hand it over and I even had the time to help out one of my friends with hers. Also another classmate of mine had trouble with some German and I even found time to give him some keywords, because I didn't want to make everything for him. Also I'm sleeping better at night. I've pulled myself together and I now read books again, oh man I've missed that.

And that's all I've to say for now. Remember children, it is okay to fail, as long as you only do it once and learn from it! Sille is out! (She has to bring cake with her today).