Life, choices and decisions

Okay, so here I am, at my English midterm, I finished writing my assignment about 20 minutes ago and have read through it several times now, and I have 2 hours and 12 minutes left of the test-time, sure I could leave now, but I can’t bring my stuff with me, so that’s not really that much of an option… Instead I think I’ll write a blog, well technically I know I will, because I am doing so. And unlike some, not saying any names here, I’d like to challenge myself a bit, so not just write about what happened to me the other day, even though our school-party thing was awesome for me too. Last year I wrote a blog after finishing my English test, and I believe I wrote about memories and my childhood and stuff like that. But this year I’ll write about something else, I think I’ll write about choices.

My Danish teacher has started a thing, where she every once in a while chooses someone to write a blog for a class’ Danish blog - and a while back one of my classmates wrote what might be one of my favourite things on there - he wrote a blog about making choices, big and small, and what I especially liked was his description of the ‘not-choice’ - the choice of doing nothing, some of is do this more than others, and no, wearing a shirt that says “I’m allergic to decisions” is no excuse to not make choice in your everyday life as well as in the bigger perspective!

The reason Thomas wrote his blog, and the reason it inspired me to write this one, is that at the moment we have to make a lot of choices, we’re faced with a lot of decisions that needs making. In three and a half months we’ll be done with all our exams, and we’ll have to apply for further education - or figure out what else we want to do, or choose the not-choice and do nothing. We need to start looking at places to live, well by now, we should’ve started looking at places to live, unless we choose the not-choice and stay home with mom and dad. Personally I’ve already made a lot of choices, I’ve decided which educations I want to apply to and when I’ll do so. I’ve decided what kind of apartment I want and I’ve started looking, I’ve started to hoard stuff for moving our as well. These are some of the bigger decisions that has needed making in my life, and in the lives of all my friends. And with all of them there’s as mentioned the optioned to choose nothing, and just see what life brings you.

Then there’s the smaller, everyday decisions, that we’re all faced with all the time, things like “what should I cook for dinner” or “should I write that assignment today or wait till tomorrow?” decisions that we can easily let slip and choose not to make, but I like to think it’ll come back to you at some point, if you choose not to decide what to have for dinner - someone else will and it might not be what you wanted, and if you choose not to decide when to do the assignment you’ll be sitting with on the last day before handing it in.

I am not the best at choosing, but I am far from the worst. I choose quite early on how I feel about people, and it might be harsh, but it’s rarely changed. I like to spend time choosing my words before saying or writing them etc. etc.

I and I’ve chosen not to write too much more about choices, but it like to try to give some advice:

Make choices, the longer you wait the worse things get, and of course you should take other people into consideration, but sometimes you need to choose for yourself first. You really can’t let everyone make your decisions for you.

I know, it feels as if I’m yelling “take a stand!” and maybe I am, but just consider what you’d prefer, making choices now and being able to look back and say “I actively chose this” or waking up one morning in five years and thinking “I never decided to be here…” don’t just go where the current takes you - or where mom tells you to go.

Oh well, enough now, Sidsel out!

Prom! (I know Sidsel)

Yes Sidsel, I'm not that creative, it's not my fault. Therefore, dear reader, I'll tell you a little bit about last Saturday where I went to prom (Danish: Galla). Danes don't really celebrate homecoming so we only have prom therefore I was really excited but also very nervous because we had to dance lanciers. It's a tradition we like to hold every year in the first weekend of March. Lanciers contains five different tours named (according to Wiki) the following: La Dorset, La Victoria, Les Moulinets, Les Visites and Les Lancers. And while we're at it I'd like to quote the last line on the Wiki page which says: " The dances keep getting more advanced, topping at no. 5 which is performed with a timing that has to be extremely precise compared to any of the previous dances." This is entirely true and the last tour is difficult as hell. To put it short you have, as a woman, to hold on to your partner otherwise you'll simply fly away or just fall to the ground. It goes really fast. Either way I think we all managed to survive this dance, some people did step on my dress though, without falling. Afterwards my mom forced us to pose in front of her so she could take all the pictures she needed. Therefore I'll just add one, maybe two. Then you can get to see the lovely dresses we all were wearing. Oh and did I mention that I danced the entire Lanciers in high heels? Yeah, I'm quite proud of myself even though my feet very much disliked me later that evening.

Hmm, I think that's it for now, I'm afraid I could talk forever about the different tours or all the food we ate before we danced and that would be a tiny bit boring. So that's it. Stay awesome!

Sille 

PS this is post 100! 

promises or something

It might be a bit late for New Years resolutions, but it was my birthday this Wednesday and I started thinking about changes I've made or gone through since last year, and what I want the next year to be like, so Chris and I sat down and (as I'm writing we're about to) had a talk about resolutions/promises for the next year (or so).
First of all I've agreed with myself to read at least two books a month, I've been doing that so far in 2014, though exam months and stuff like that, don't really count, we'll see about those.
I've promised myself to start studying history this year, and to find a place to live (away from my parents) before the year is over.
By Easter Chris will have learned some Danish, including the phrases:
"Hvordan har du det" (how are you?)
"Jeg her det godt, tak" (I'm good, thanks)
"Må jeg bede om vandet?" (can I have the water please) yes it's necessary for dinner time with my family...
"Jeg forstod ikke helt hvad du sagde, kan du gentage det? (kan du oversætte det til engelsk)?" (I didn't really understand what you said, can you repeat it? (can you translate it to English?))
"tak skal du have" (thank you)
(more might added to this list)
We promise that this year we'll celebrate our anniversary properly, and in the same country for the first time.
I promise that I'll make this Christmas the best Chris has ever had.
Chris will eventually cut down on sugar.
I promise to kick ass at my exams, and get over my nerves.
Chris promises to get through tech, and do so as brilliantly as he's been doing lately.
We promise to stay in touch with the people who matter, even if they live further away once we move to Aarhus.
We promise to make many pancakes, but only for ourselves. :P

So there, that's our promises for the next while of our lives...
- Sidsel (and Chris) out!

Silly poem-thingy

We've decided that we will make a long poem which is going to be (about)/dedicated to all our friends (well, most of them!) - and when I say 'we', I mean Markus (my way too silly boyfriend) and I. Yes we were bored, and I thought we might as well do something useful. Here goes!

Sidsel is short, just like her hair

She brings books with her everywhere

She needs chocolate all the time

It's really hard to make this rhyme

Mie is noisy, there is no doubt

She is the one this stanza's about

Her dances and songs bring much joy

The lyrics and moves, oh boy

Michelle is very quiet and sweet

Making her angry is quite a feat

She's the nicest person on Earth

Mess with her and you'll regret your birth

Sofie might actually be a cat

Everything she does confirms that

She likes zombies and all things creepy

Though she is often very sleepy

Camilla's the most sarcastic one

She doesn't miss a chance for a pun

She fancies her army of cups above all

Even though she is rather small

Simone is the one with the boobs

Oh man, nothing rhymes with boobs

When she's with Sofie things get crazy

Though she is actually rather lazy

Markus is clever, way too clever

Cecilie thought she would hate him forever

But now she snuggles him every day

So Sidsel needs to look away

Cecilie never says a word

But she is actually quite a nerd

She loves all the fluffy things

And her fingers are full of rings

And that was it. We hoped you enjoyed it. I, Cecilie, will apologize for Markus' poetry skills... I couldn't stop him (This might not be entirely true - Markus). Anydoctor, take care!

- Sille

Freindships and the virtual world

First of all I'd like to say I'm sorry for how the blog has been run recently, I've been busy dealing with a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and I assume Cecilie is too busy snogging her new borfreind. At the moment I'm the UK, and while Chris is at school, I have for the first time, in a really long time, felt like I had time and energy to write a blog. And I had a lot on my mind, so I guess it's just writing it, here you go:

Recently I read Esther Earl’s book, if you’re not familiar with who she is; she’s a nerdfighter who else from fighting for nerddom also fought cancer. In 2010 she sadly lost her fight, but not before having helped a lot of people through charities and her general awesomeness.

There’s a lot of interesting things in Esther’s book, her courage, positivity and ability to be love is very inspiring, and the book can really make you as the reader put things into perspective.

Anywho what the book inspired me to write about was ‘internet-friendships’, because when Esther fought her brave fight, she needed somewhere to go, and that place ended up being Nerdfighteria. And though my story is nowhere near as inspiring or tragic as Esther’s, I was about the same age she was when I started searching a community to fit in.

I was going through a hard time in my life, my family was slightly falling apart, a long story there - one I don’t feel like talking about yet - all I feel like saying is that depression can ruin a family. At the same time I didn’t have an awful lot of friends, and the only one I knew was there for me was Cecilie, and I didn’t really fit in at my school - I was never bullied, I just didn’t fit in. It was a stressful time for me, and I’d often find myself crying or feeling down, and I needed somewhere to go, somewhere I could meet people who were like me, or at least would accept me for who I am.  And like Esther found John and Hank Green’s world of nerdfighters, I found Rhett and Link’s Kommunity (all of these people are ‘youtubers’).

This was all about three years ago when I was 15/16 years old, I found the Kommunity through Youtube and when I mustered the courage I started talking to people on the site, I don’t remember what I said or how long I stared at the screen before I wrote something in the chat (probably a really long time!), but I remember the first person I talked to, she was a Dutch girl named Femkie, slowly but surely a group of people who were all about the same age got together. Quite a few people from the US, and a few from Europe, all in all we were maybe ten people. We were rarely all “together”, but usually at least five or six of us would chat every night, and on the weekends we would have group calls on Skype. I believe I introduced Cecilie to all of these people at one point, though she never fit in as well with them as I did, she found  some people that she liked better, understandably so, our bunch was a mental group of people admittedly.

I felt good “around these people”, I could be myself and we could talk about anything, it could be about silly made up cereal brands, or trouble at home or in school. We just felt completely comfortable with each other. Sadly after a while we stopped talking as much, we would chat every few months, but we weren’t as close, though whenever one of us did write we’d always be greeted with open arms and hearts. We slightly grew apart, we each had our own lives, I graduated from one school and started at another, I got a lot of new friends, and slightly forgot to talk to the people who helped me through so much. This group of people helped me find myself and like myself.

Then one day, after about a year, a message popped up on my Skype “Long time no Sidsel” it read, and this terrible pun got me and Chris talking again, soon, within days we agreed that we might want to be more than friends. We talked every day and after little less than four months, we met. As we held each other in the airport I felt so at home, in the arms of a person I’d never met before. We knew each other so well, and I’ve never been that close with anyone.

A few months back another message popped up on Skype, this time in a group chat I’d long forgotten, and the message did declare the chat dead - which it then turned out it wasn’t we spend hours that night talking about everything and nothing; about school, sexuality, family, celebrities and stupid puns. We talk a little, every once in a while now, and we’re not as close as we used to be, but we’re still pretty close and open about everything.

And why am I telling you this? I don’t really know, I just felt like sharing. But I think it’s interesting how close and open I could be with this group of people I’d never met before. And I think it’s a general thing with people you meet on the internet, you’re more able to open up, and you get to know each other’s personalities. When you meet someone in real life you’re affected by their looks, the way they dress and all that stuff, whereas on the internet you get affected by how people “act” when you talk, and you get to know them.

Of course there’s the danger of people only letting you know what they want you to know about them, and that way it can be easier to lie or even hide behind a fake identity, and this happens, and sadly it gives internet friendships a bad rep, I’m very aware that not all parents will let their teenage daughters internet boyfriend visit for a week - luckily my parents are very open minded.

I truly, honestly believe that you can be more open, more yourself on the internet, and maybe if you’re lucky you can have so close a friendship that you can be equally open with these people in real life. When I’m with Chris, I’m more myself than I ever am, sometimes I’m even more myself with him than I am when I’m alone.

I’m so thankful that the internet allowed me to meet a person who’ll stay up all night talking, who’ll hold me when I need it, who’ll cuddle up around me when I curl up in sadness. I’m so glad I’ve met someone who I can (and have spent months to) tell everything about me, and who’ll still love my unconditionally.

And sure, if I hadn’t met my perfect guy on the internet, I would’ve met someone else, somewhere else, but it would never have been the same.

As John Green says it:

“I dislike the phrase “Internet friends,” because it implies that people you know online aren’t really your friends, that somehow the friendship is less real or meaningful to you because it happens through Skype or text messages. The measure of a friendship is not it’s physicality but its significance. Good friendships, online or off, urge us toward empathy; they give us comfort and also pull us out of the prisons of ourselves.”

Okay, after having written you this essay (wauw, has anyone even made it this far?), I’ll leave you to it. Hopefully you have someone there for you, online or off.

Baiiiiii!

-Sidsel

Teaching 'responsible' young people

Argh, we have a blog to run! I almost forgot it with everything going on these days. Oh and my time is running out, I have to go to sleep soon. This might be a quick, I have warned you know dear reader!

The thing I'd like to complain about is one of the other classes from my year group or whatever it's called. It's a sad fact that I still have PE, and it's even sadder that I have to 'work out' with another class which is filled with people I rather much dislike. I don't want to sound evil but they're simply not my kind of people. Anyway our teachers thought it'd be a could idea if everyone tried to teach each other (meaning the teachers don't have to do anything while the students teach). Because of this I had to sign up to be a teacher for a day and teach 20 people about the beautiful way of playing badminton. So I planned stuff. I taught my fellow-teachers how to play so we (four girls) could teach the rest of the team. Long story short it all started out okay. I taught them the basic ways of holding the racket and I taught them the rules. Everything was going as planned and after 40 minutes we had reached the last point of my to-do-list which was a game called Champion. It's a rather simple game really. You have to win a match (you play one ball) and if you win you move to the next court. If you win enough times you'll reach 'the top' where the Champion is standing. You have to beat him, get two points, and then you can call yourself the Champion. If you lose, you start from the beginning. Eitherway the other class decided that they wanted to start at all the courts, instead of starting at the first one because then they'd have to wait. Fine, I was angry with that decision but I lead them. Because they did say: "We're 18-19 years old, we know how to do that." And now dear reader, do you think they did? NO, they didn't. (They had no clue of what they're were doing, because they hadn't listen to my words). I was pissed so I had to call them together so that they could play it my way. I snapped at one of the annoying girls and they played it the way I wanted. Did it work? Yes, it did.

But what's my point with telling you all this? Well I'm disappointed. Oh and I was furious by the way. I yelled very loud the following (no translation, that'd just scare you of): "For helevede I ånssvage mennesker!" and then I kicked the wall of the gym. I realized my PE teacher was looking at me but she understood my fury so she promised she'd talk to them. But it still pisses me of (excuse my language) that people in the age of 18 or more doesn't respect each other. I had the teacher-role therefore they should at least try and listen. They know it's going to be their turn following week and I'm sure they'll go home as angry as me if they meet a group of students who doesn't give a flying cow about what you have to say.

So yes I'm disappointed. Very much. Disrespectful people. At least I can smile with the thought about that it wasn't my own classmates who acted this way. They actually listened to me - I'm forever thankful for that! Finally I think my anger has disappeared. What a relief. I might get some sleep now. That was all!

- Sille  

Feminism, a useless fight in today's society

Glob, it's been a while, almost a month, we took a kind of unplanned break from writing, but I believe it was deserved, seeing as we had gigantic assignments and Christmas preparations to take care of, and I travelled to the UK right after Christmas, and then there was the back to school stress... But, anywho, I declare us as back! And I'll kick things of with telling you a bit about feminism... (this is an assignment for my English class and I thought I'd share it here as well):

If a woman declares herself to be a feminist today she’ll get asked three questions: “Do you hate men?”, “So you don’t shave?” and “Are you a lesbian?”. I’ve personally been asked all of those questions, and it’s not just “the ignorant men” who ask, it’s everyone - because almost no-one in these times actually knows what it means to be a feminist.

Let me first tell you what feminism actually is and then we’ll look at what it means in today’s world. According to Oxford Dictionary feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. And personally I think this is a good definition - because what feminism is, is the belief that; that everyone is equal - not that women are better than anyone else. After having looked this more serious definition up I decided to see what Urban Dictionary had to say about the matter, and I found a lot of serious entries, obviously made by people who actually knew what they were talking about, but as I went through the pages it turned into “a bunch of women who are ugly and therefor hate men” or “ the belief that women are people and therefor it’s their right to criticize men for everything in history” - both of these images or of course completely wrong.

Of course it’s misguiding that it’s called “feminism” when it probably should be called “humanism”, because, first of all - everyone and anyone can be a feminist, to say that it’s only for women is to go against the equality feminism fights for.

Secondly, women can’t force men to make up for history, if we always had to consider what happened in the past, no-one could do anything anymore. Sure, through history “the white man” has created quite a mess, but we need to look at what we can do to better the future instead of focusing on what we could’ve done better in the past!

I do believe there’s a reason why the angry, hairy-legged feminist stereotype came to be. There are - as with all stereotypes - some people who are like that; there are the extreme-feminists who’ll tell you not to shave your legs, armpits or whatever or not to cook for “the man”. A thing that these women forget is, it’s our bodies, just like women shouldn’t let “the man” decide over their body and actions, no woman is to decide what other do with their bodies. I don’t wear make-up, because I don’t like doing so, but if I wanted to, I wouldn’t let some angry extreme-feminist tell me not to. And I cook dinner for my boyfriend, because I want to - and I know he’ll return the favour!

It’s funny really, that this group of angry “man-haters” are so busy telling others that they’re not “proper” women, when one of the things feminism fight for is that anyone who sees themselves as a woman is a “proper” woman, regardless of how they act or dress. The debate of gender versus sex is a completely different one, and it’s too complicated for me to go into at this moment.

Some might think there’s no need for feminism in our society, because we’re equal as it is. And here my inner feminist might shine through. It is true that women have the same rights as men in a lot of fields; women can vote and go to school just like men in most countries, in some fields women are actually taking over - just look at the more book-ish youth educations. But there are still a lot of fields where women aren’t equal, we still get paid less for the same jobs and there are more men in positions of power. Around the time of the local elections last year I was talking to a friend (who happened to be male) and we were discussing who we were voting for, and when I told him who I was planning on voting for he said “oh, because she’s a woman?” - and this shouldn’t be a question that needed asking, because I wasn’t voting for a candidate because of gender, I was voting for the one I considered best!

Just like it shouldn’t be the main focus what skin colour a politician has, their gender shouldn’t be important. Though it can be a bit hard to see how a group of old American men should be the ones deciding whether women should be able to have abortions.

You don’t have to be a woman to able to ask yourself questions like: “is it okay to rape?” or “is it okay to treat one group of society differently?” and as a normal human with the capability of logical thought you should be able to answer “no” as well.

We need feminism as long as it’s okay to over sexualize women. We need feminism as long as “she was asking for it” is still a reason to rape - this thought is both degrading to women, who should be allowed to dress however they want, and men who aren’t the kind of animals this way of thinking presents them as. Feminism is needed as long as I’m being told to sit down and be quiet, because women should not be loud and provoking the way I am.

Women like me might not have needed to fight their way out of the kitchen, but we have to fight every day with society’s expectations of our looks and behaviour.

Women are people and men are people, and if we stop nagging each other, we might just get along. Extreme feminists are just as sexist as the guys who tell women to get back in the kitchen.

Yeah, a long one, but oh well.

-Sidsel out